I have never really been a big blogger. I have tried starting blogs before but for one reason or another, I end up abandoning them. Either I get busy, bored, or just forget about them. But a big reason, that I really hate to admit, is that I feel like no one in their right mind would be interested in reading what I have to say. Whether or not that is true doesn’t really matter though does it? I end up editing my thoughts as I type them out, afraid someone might ACTUALLY read them. Maybe it’s time to let go and let someone in.
Well I don’t have a very interesting story. I’ll tell it anyway.
Moving from place to place sucks. It really does! You get to your new “home”, get unpacked, settled, learn the streets around your town, make friends, get a routine, plant roots, and then BOOM. Before you know what hit you, it’s been three years. Orders come in. You move out. And you leave everything you consider to now be home, behind. It’s devastatingly difficult sometimes. Soon you start shutting people out, not even trying to make friends anymore, because you know you will have to say goodbye to them sooner or later.
My husband has been in the United States Air Force for almost a decade, and man do they take care of us! We know just how lucky we are; great benefits, healthcare, housing, job security, education, etc. Plus the support that comes with living in a community of other people just like you! But some days are harder than others. Missing friends, or family, or a place you started to love like it was your home.
We recently moved from Florida to Las Vegas. We had lived away from all of our family for 6 years, and had grown used to relying on each other for support and comfort. The Florida panhandle really stole my heart and reshaped my idea of home. Mark and I bought our first home there. It was a beautiful brick house with a screened in porch and a wooded backyard; 5 minutes from a glorious beach. We adopted our cats there! My first babies! I made life-long friends there and went to school. I got pregnant and gave birth to our son in Florida! We brought him home there! So many wonderful firsts, and memories that I try to re-etch into my brain every day. It was so difficult to say goodbye. But I know we will make new memories here in our new “home”.
I am the type of person who really does not like change. I like routines and staying in my comfort zone, and sameness. So when things start changing, a move, a new milestone in my son’s development, anything really, I dig in my heels and want to live in that moment before everything changes.
Maybe someday I will start being able to handle change. Maybe not. But I do try my best to enjoy every moment that passes me by, hoping to pluck a few from the air and tuck them close to my heart for later.
I don’t want this blog to be a bundle of whiny, complaining posts. Instead I just want it to be an honest tap into my mind about things I think about very often. Some good, some bad, and many of them, I hold close to my heart.